People often talk about the “unwritten rules”. What are they? Who sets them? How do you know what they are?

They are the unspoken, but often modeled rules. They are set by those who are influential within organizations and society. They are adhered to by those who seek to understand their environments and to have more influence. The unwritten rules are common sense to those who know them and a cryptic secret language to those who do not. They have, in some cases, been single handedly responsible for the lack of progress of individuals.

The best way to learn the unwritten rules is to study your environment, find mentors who you respect and who have influence. Lastly, research and get feedback from people you trust. The unwritten rules exist and I believe shall remain.

Taking a moment to self reflect (not dwell) on the good, the bad and the ugly about ourselves is so critical to moving forward. We each take part in the success and failures that we experience in life. However, experience has shown me that we rarely take account of how we could have handled things differently.

We can’t often change people or situations, but we certainly have control over our own actions. The point of self reflection is not to dwell or to feel shame about the areas where we may fall short. The point is to gain understanding about how we can utlize what we now know to have better results.

With so many electronic ways to communicate, the personal touch is fading; however it’s power is not. Think about how you feel when you receive an envelope that has been handwritten and addressed to you specifically, versus typed and possibly addressed to your title.

Make no mistake, the personal touch is a differentiator in today’s market. Take time.